Biggest Dorks Ever. Needs no caption.

(notice the pretty tree?)

(this one -above- is my very favorite)

Me and Mike at football.

Mike is actually not this tall.
We're standing on a hill.
I am just as tall as him.

ipod ahead!

I am so excited.
My father gave me a bunch of gift certificates to the mall for Christmas.
I am going to buy myself an ipod.
I just decided today.

I am at my office and went online to the itunes store.
I downloaded the software and "voila!" I can add music to my computer.
By myself. By my very own self.
I am so proud.

So, I went and immediately bought a few cd's that I lost when the Honda went awol.
Eminmen's Encore album. *sigh* I have so missed this one.
Nora Jones.
And some random songs that I have heard and loved.
Then I started uploading the cd's I have in my office.
And, presto magic, I have the beginning of a *music library*
ME. I DID IT. BY MYSELF.

I may just join the world that already lives in the 21s century yet.
Currently I am listening to Collective Soul's: "BETTER NOW!"
Rock on.

Post-Holiday Wrap

Today is Tuesday, I think.
No, it really is.

I am still a bit fuzzy on what day of the week it is, what time it is, what I actually HAVE to do this week. I did do some work today, but really it wasn't very much. My boss is on a cruise. I feel like NOT working and enjoying my children who are on vacation.

Christmas was fine this year. Or, I should say it was good. I am still in denial that it is actually over. It doesn't seem right. At this very moment I am sorta tired and a wee bit cranky (for no real reason) so my perspective is a bit skewed.

Friday night Mike came over for dinner. I had lost a bet so HAD to make him the dinner of his choice. He picked-orange Pilsbury cinnamon rolls, bacon and sausage, blueberry pancakes and a ham/cheese/onion/bacon omelet. And pumpkin cheesecake for dessert. He also brought presents--a Harry Potter encyclopedia book for Grace, a noisy remote car for Margo, and an ornament of Mickey and Miney watching tv with popcorn. I gave him his stocking, which I made. Really. It was a great night.

Saturday, Chirstmas Eve: we played footlball. I had three touchdowns (woo!) and threw two interceptions (boo!). Then to my mom's house--where we had the traditional big feast and celebration. This year mom added cosmos. Katie got the drunkest--she was hillarious.
Grace and Margaret got more presents than any two children should EVER receive. Including a dvd player for the car--yeah, road trips! And I got a $100 gift card to Barnes and Nobel! Kennan dumped the entire platter of stuffed tenderloin and doublebaked potatoes on the floor (by accident) which was a funny moment, and I very proud of myself, did not yell. And I made my mother NOT look. She would have yelled. It was a nice evening. Preston was fabulous and I played with him and watched movies with him...and he said, "I love you auntie Kristen" and kissed me. It was precious!

Christmas Day was spent with my dad. Breakfast in Cedarburg (odd to go out for breakfast on Christmas). Gifts and mimosas at Katie's house. Movie in Saukville. We saw The Family Stone, which was almost exactly like watching my crazy family. It was touching and I cried, a lot. Then I went to Mike's house where he had a fire going and his living room decorated with lights. He even decorated his "fake tree" which is not a Chirstmas tree, but rather a big, fake plant. We opened presents--I got xm radio! Which is so incredibly cool. And the most thoughtful present, a Martin Luther King Jr dvd of the "I have a dream" speech. Have I mentioned that he is fabulous?

Since then I've done a lot of nothing. I haven't cleaned my house. I haven't done any laundry. I haven't put the Christmas presents away. Nada. I did take a fabulous nap yesterday. And I did listen to my new Beastie Boys cd. And I did cook beef and broccoli for Grace and Margaret for lunch.

And now the cafe is closing.
So, more later.
Happy winter vacation.

End of the Year.

1. What did you do in 2005 that you’d never done before?
I am not sure? I need to think about that one for a minute. Ok, back after writing the rest of this-I saw killer whales in the ocean. And I kayaked on the sea. I had only kayaked on lakes before.

2. Did you keep your New Years’ resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I did, mostly. I quit smoking. I started running. And I got back into my size 8 clothes. That was important. I did the trainings that I wanted for my professional goals. But, sadly I didn't make any progress on the money stuff. I actually may be worse off than I was a year ago.
So, add "learn how to manage money" as a 2006 goal--also I have committed to run 500 miles including some races-working up to a marathon by the end of 2006.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth? No. But my sister-in-law and brother will have baby #2 in early February and I just learned that my college roomate is having a baby!

4. Did anyone close to you die? My grandfather died in June.

5. What countries did you visit? I didn't leave the US in 2005. I did start to explore the Northwest part of this vast country-went to the Seattle region twice.

6. What would you like to have in 2006 that you lacked in 2005?
Better money habits. Better dating habits for the early part of the year. Better communication (on my part) with loved ones who live far away.

7. What dates from 2005 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
September 18th--I turned 30. And had one of the best parties ever!!! And October 23rd. I wrote an email that day.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? Easy question. Quitting smoking. I also made HUGE progress on the home-makeover front, painting all the rooms, ripping out all the carpet and fixing the obvious broken things. Yeah me.

9. What was your biggest failure? The whole incident with JB. It was a nightmare. Just glad it is OVER.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury? Not really. It was a disease free year!

11. What was the best thing you bought? My subscription to match dot com.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration? All of my brothers and sisters--we supported each other, hung in there together, and simply loved each other through this year of my parent's divorce. My three brothers and two sisters are truly friends who will stand by each other through anything.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? JB and the whole having a fiance in Texas. Need I say more?

14. Where did most of your money go? I just got my tax bill and I know that almost $5,000 went to property taxes.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? The last two months with Mike have been awesome and I am totally excited thinking about next year. I was also excited when my mom told me she was taking me on vacation for my 30th birthday. And that Princeton wants me to go to grad school there. I am also thrilled about some of the work that I am doing right now.

16. What song will always remind you of 2005? No clue???

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:(a)Happier or Sadder? Much happier. (b)Thinner or Fatter? Thinner! Wearing my favorite jeans again! (c)Richer or Poorer? Poorer. I think I've eluded to that.

18. What do you wish you’d done more of? I am not sure that I could have done much more of anything this past year. There was way more activity in my life than ever before.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of? Not sure, I think I did what I needed to do this year.

20. How will you be spending Christmas? Christmas Eve is the big-ole-bash. Christmas Day we'll spend having breakfast at a diner with my dad and then going to a movie. Christmas night I'm going to spend with Mike.

21. Did you fall in love in 2005? Flat on my face.

22. How many one-night stands? 0

23. What was your favorite TV program? Football broadcasts were the only real tv that I have watched. I do love that show, Grey's Anatomy but I always forget to turn my tv on for the show.

24. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year? I prefer not to think about it....

25. What was the best book you read? The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Nighttime was by far one of the best ever. Also I loved Lies My Teacher Told me. I also read a bunch of geeky political books.

26. What was your greatest musical discovery? ??? or My friend's band, Floormodel.

27. What did you want and get? More fun in my life.

28. What did you want and not get? An ipod. I thought for sure I would have one by now, but not yet.

30. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? I turned 30 on September 18th, but the party was on Saturday the 17th and lasted into the early morning hours of the 18th. My friend's band played at a coffee shop that I love. I had rented the place for the night and friends, family and co-workers all stopped by. My sister also flew in from Seattle to spend a week with me and partied with me. As midnight approached we all went back to my house for champagne toast at midnight-more shots-and I even smoked a joint with my brother (way out of charachter). I had an awesome, awesome time.

31. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? "Immeasurably?" I don't think anything.

32. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2005? I wore brown more. I bought some of those gaucho pants and big black boots. But really I am still a jeans girls and wish I could wear them all day, every day. I grew my hair really long. That was my newest fashion trend and I plan to keep it for the forseeable future.

33. What kept you sane? Me, sane? Hah!

34. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? Hillary Clinton and Barack O'Bama.

35. What political issue stirred you the most? Immigration is still at the top of my list, but there are too many to list. Basically I am stirred and outraged that we are in this fucked-up political climate where there is so much wrong with our country that people actually beleive that they can do nothing to change it.

36. Who did you miss? Liza and Anna and Molly. And everyone else that I missed seeing this summer at sonci. I regret that I just didn't go.

37. Who was the best new person you met? I met a lot of really cool people in 2005. Dave, Jon, Tanysha,--but Mike wins.

38. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2005. I'm not sure? I learned that I really love my job--and that matters tremendously in life. I also learned more about my own internalized racism from some great mentors and friend. I keep learning that I can't do everything and that having a messy house doesn't bother me very much!

39. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
"Driving away from the wreck of the day and I thinking about calling on Jesus." Anna Nalik. (this a quote from the first half of the year)
And a current quote would be more happy and upbeat and fun. But I am not sure I have any music like that! (feel free to submit suggestions).
Or, the theme song for what makes me think of my agitation table (and best women circle ever) is RESPECT, by Aretha Franklin.

World, meet Mike.

I like this one becasue he is smiling.

Yup. This is Mike. He's amazing!

More Lists.

Which of the many different holidays in December do you celebrate?
I celebrate Christmas. This year the girls and I got invited to a Kwanza celebration next Tuesday so we're going! I think that it will be wonderful for so many reasons.

What type of Christmas cards do you send out? Sentimental? Religious? Funny?
I actually have several varieties for different people...and usually I include a photo of my two darlings. This year all the cards are sitting addressed but I have no picture yet. Am working on it, but cards will be more like "Happy New Year" cards.

If you put up a tree, do you buy a special ornament for the year?
I don't buy ornaments. They are given to me. My grandmother has bought a spun-glass ornament for me every single year. Some have broken, but my tree has mostly sparkly ornaments from her. There are ornaments on my tree that I absolutely treasure...and each year as I put them up I remeber why they are special.

Do you do anything special on Christmas Eve?
Christmas Eve has always been THE night that our family celebrates Christmas. Starting way back when I was a little girl we had Christmas at my grandparent's house (hard for me to believe, but back then some of my mom's siblings were 10, 11, 13, 14, etc.) As a child, one of the traditions was that Santa would come to my grandparent's house and hand out the gifts. Santa was actually my mom's older brother Lee, but I had no idea. Santa was real!
Now we have Christmas Eve at my mom's (this year is the first year we'll celebrate sans my dad who is now officially divorced from my mom). Christmas Eve is the most fun night of the whole year. Admittidly we are excessive, but it is fun and wonderful and filled with spirit and love.

Here's how the day goes: I arrive to help mom finish cooking and setting the table. The girls organize the mountain of presents into piles for later. They are the designated "elves" as they hand out the presents to all the adults first, before they open any of their own. The "family" consists of our immediate family (this year my sister is staying in Seattle)-my grandmother, my great-aunt and uncle, another great aunt, my mom's cousins and three kids: Grace, Margaret, and my adorable nephew Preston (who is 22 months)! We all dress up. Suits for the boys and the girls wear party dresses. I am not sure when or why we started the fancy stuff, but it does make the night feel festive. Mom sets an amazing table (or more accurately, tables) with china and crystal and gorgeous flowers and candles. There are about 20 of us all told.

To start the evening we drink champagne and eat shrimp cocktail and stuffed mushrooms. There is also an array of candy and cookies supplied by my great aunt and her daughters.
For the main menu we eat stuffed tenderloin, a fabulous pork roast, scallops, double baked potatoes and our "special" vegetable medly with cashew butter. Dessert is a jello torte made by my other great aunt and then my mom makes grasshoppers. This year she also informed me that she is serving cosmos. (I didn't know that she knew what a cosmo even was). My brothers and I do several shots of goldschlagger (a tradition started when I was about 20).

After dinner we will all move into the living room. I will sit on the hearth of the fireplace all night (my throne!) and insist that my brothers keep refilling my coffee cup. We all take turns opening gifts in a most civilized way. Kids are last. And then we all just talk until the old people decide they need to go home. Sometimes I spend the night. Most times I go back to my house so that the girls can wake me up at some horribly early time! The evening revolves mostly around the friendly and funny banter of my siblings--we tell stories of our growing up, sometimes the same stories are told in six different versions. We laugh. We cry. Like I said, it is a magical night. And I can't imagine ever not being home for Christmas Eve.

Have you ever regifted a present in fun?
Sure.

If you could only have one gift this year, what would it be?
Right this moment I am happy with everything that I have. I feel like I have more than I deserve.

The weekend update...

What do you do on the first weekend that you have spent at home since the beginning of December, the bussiest month of the year?

Most sane people would dive right into all of their Christmas errunds-shopping-wrapping-cookie decorating-Chirstmas tree buying. Nope not me. I decided to do noe of the above and live in the world of continual illusion that Christmas is in fact not coming this year. Or, can I file for an extension? Please? The IRS lets me.

Instead of a Christmas weekend I had a marathon-of-fun weekend.

Friday night the girls were in charge of the agenda. They could do whatever they wanted. The only stipulation that they had was they had from 6pm until midnight to plan their activities. So-we did (in this order) a movie (Chronicles of Narnia), dinner (Applebee's) and midnight-lazer-light-show bowling. Lucy of course came along, as no evening of fun planned by my small ones would ever be complete without her! And Mike decided to brave the night with four girls and he survived, even though Grace beat him in one of our many bowling games. By the end of the night all five of us were sufficently exhausted.

Did we sleep in Saturday? Nope.

The girls packed up their sleds and I dressed for football in the snow. We met Mike at the park and everyone played. Adults played football--struggling to stay on their feet. And a certain someone was tackeled by another certain someone, but to protect his image we won't say his name. It would be embarrassing to be schooled by girls in both football and bowling in the same weekend. :)

After the park a group of us headed to lunch to refuel and thaw.
After the meal I returned the girls to their father.

Then Mike and I went to see King Kong--awesome but long. My restlessness was hard to contain, but the length was appropriate to the film. After the movie we went out for pizza-then to see his brother and his band play a hick bar. We ended the night well after midnight.

And Sunday was spent running out for breakfast before the noon start of the football games. Followed by half the day watching football. Me losing a bet on the Colts. And then me heading out to a family Christmas party that deserves its own blog post. :)

I was in bed by 8pm Sunday.

And now it is Monday. And I am no closer to having any of my Christmas agenda completed.
But I had a helluv a weekend.
Sometimes it is just to play.

Good Snow!

The snowstorm of the day has forced the cancelation of the 3 hour strategic meeting tonight. Instead I get to go home and play outside with my kids and then drink hot tea and finish Christmas cards. I love snow. (She says before she actually has to go and shovel her driveway.)

Why I love the Internet.

Kelli is a woman that I worked with in Chicago. She an I were co-conspirators and commisserated often on the state of affairs with the working conditions there. It was a blessing that we both moved into different arenas. She left organizing and is now in seminary--I haven't actually spoken to her in soooo long, but we've reconnected through blogging. And she wrote this, "So I am supposed to be studying for my History exam...but I read Kristen's blog and fell in love with the idea. Kristen Rogers is an old friend. One of the smartest, most ambitious, most agitational, most passionate women I have ever known. I am lucky to know her. She continues to inspire me." Thanks Kelli. Thanks internet.

My Brain

Your Brain's Pattern

Your mind is a firestorm - full of intensity and drama.Your thoughts may seem scattered to you most of the time...But they often seem strong and passionate to those around you.You are a natural influencer. The thoughts you share are very powerful and persuading.

What Pattern Is Your Brain?

One More List

(I have a serious addiction going here.)

1. Name someone with the same birthday as you? My grandmother had the same birthday as me which as a kid I thought was very cool.

2. Where was your first kiss? On a school bus.

3. Have you ever seriously vandalized someone else's property? Yes, it was a group effort on the part ofmyselfd and my siblings...we trashed an apartment that we were renting--dumb kid stuff, or so we thought until my parents got hit with a bill for repairs. I was 10.

4. Have you ever hit someone of the opposite sex? Twice. I hit Adam.Severson when I was a junior in high school at a basketball game in front of a huge crowd. He deserved it. More recently I got in a fight this summer at summerfest defending my brother (who, ironically is 6'4").

5. Have you ever sung in front of a large number of people? The only time that I have every sung in front of people was when JP and I sang karaoke. I have given a speech in front of 2000 people.

6. What is the first thing you notice about the preferred sex? If he can make me laugh we're off to a great start.

7. What really turns you on? Football. Especially in bed.

8. What do you order at Starbucks? Before the football season started and I had no committments on Sunday afternoons I would spend HOURS at Starbucks with a book. Somehow it felt less lonely being alone in the company of stragners. I had a routine. For my first selection I would order a medium dark roast, black. Have at least one refil, then move on to an Early Grey tea. It was heaven.

9. What is your biggest mistake? I have no idea. I've made my share though. I tend to think that I learned something in those mistakes which somehow redeem them. Maybe that is a dillusional frame of mind.

10. Have you ever physically hurt yourself on purpose? Yes. It was a long time ago when I was a misserable person. I hated my life and who I was. It wasn't suicidal, but I wasn't too kind to myself. Luckily that was a long time ago.

11. Say something totally random about yourself. Isn't this whole list-thing kind of random? Or, I have eaten more cheesecake in the past 6 weeks than I have in a long, long time.

12. Has anyone ever said you looked like a celebrity? I've been told I look like Katie Couric...however I see nothing that proves this to be even an iota true.

13. Do you still watch kiddy movies or tv shows? Depends on the company I am keeping. But I loved Harry Potter and cannot wait to see Narnia. I think that qualifies me as a kid at heart. The girls are a great excuse to see all the kiddy flicks.

14. Did you have braces? I did. Followed by a retainer that I didn't wear as much as I should have. Hence, I still have a crooked tooth on the bottom row that annoys the crap out of me. It was worth it.

15. Are you comfortable with your height? I love my height.

16. What is the most romantic thing someone of the opposite sex has done for you? Lately, the shoveling of my driveway completelyly melted me.

17. When do you know its love? When no moment of the day is spent without thinking of him, and when you start inventing excuses to see him, and when you know that being in the relationship is exactly where you want to be. Even better than you imagined. Then you know.

18. Do you speak any other languages? Fluently, French. Half-Assed, Spanish.

19. Have you ever been to a tanning salon? I did before Shannon and Matt's wedding--I had tan lines that needed erasing. It was short lived, but I have always wished someone would invent a warm, quiet box that you could just nap in. Forget the tan, I want the heat! Especailly today.

20. What magazines do you read? Discover. Martha Stewart Living (no laughing). Outside. Adventure. Sports Illustrated.

21. Have you ever ridden in a limo? Yes, twice. Once after babysitting I was given a ride home by the limo driver and once after my cousin's wedding. This was the night my sister-in-law (to be at that time) decided it was a good idea to moon oncoming traffic. Only later did she find out that my brother was driving along side of us and didn't appreicate his future wife fanning her ass for the whole world to see. It was funny.

22. Has anyone you were really close to passed away? Death has taken several very improtant loved ones.

23. Do you watch MTV? Not for years. Are they still on?

24. What's something that really annoys you? Today, my boss.

25. What's something you really like? Being in bed under warm covers. Comfort food. Chocoloate. Watching Margaret pogo stick in the snow at 7:30 in the morning. Coffee.

26. Do you like Michael Jackson? I love the song 'Beat It' -- and of course as a kid I worshipped his music. Lately he creeps me out.

27. Can you dance? I don't.

28. What's the latest you have ever stayed up? All night. It was a regular routine in college. Procrastinate until I had to stay up typing out papers. Drove my roomate crazy.

30. Have you ever been rushed by an ambulance into the emergency room? Two summers ago I had a severe kidney infection that didn't respond to treatment and I was rushed to the ER. It was a freaky experience--and later was diagnosed with West Nile (the kidney infection was just a symptom) and remained in the hospital for over a week.

31. Do you actually read these when other people fill them out? I do!

Back at Work.

In brief, it sucks.
My reentry into the mid-west has gone fairly smooth. I returned to find my car's battery dead on Sunday night. Mike picked me up and I decided to avoid it for a day...come to find out they will jump your car for FREE at the airport (well, considering the price of parking its not exactly free). And I left my phone charger in Seattle so am awaiting its airmail arrival. Had to go out and get another one. But other than the snags with the car and the phone it was great to get home. I spent the last two days at home with Margaret sick. We slept a lot. And today I feel pretty good. The whole time zone switching has me a bit messed up--I have a hard time getting to sleep at night and an even more difficult time waking in the morning. However, I am sure that too will readjust in the next days.

I had a meeting this morning with my boss and one of my coworkers to start to outlining a new job description for me in the coming year. It went so-so. I felt like the conversation was a three way ping-pong game. First you take the ball, smack it to the guy on the left and then smack it back to the guy on the right. Nothing got resolved to the satisfaction that I wanted. We're having a staff retreat day on Friday and I will have to present more details of what we discussed. In short I think that I will now be responsible for Beloit and Madison in addition to what I already do. I wanted to be in Milwaukee, but it seems that is not in the cards.

Next round: negotiations for money and position in the organization.

I went through the million email that I had, returned some phone calls and am planning my three hour strategic planning meeting tonight. I forgot my diet mt. dew at home so I am sitting at my desk sans caffeine. Bleck. And the weather outside is nasty--snowing, raining, windy...should be a fabulous drive home tonight and then out to Waukesha.

Ok, enough bitching.

On a more holly-jolly note, I officially started my holiday craze yesterday. WAY LATE. But I shopped (finished about a third of gifts), wrapped, wrote out almost 100 cards and addressed them and cleaned and moved furniture in anticipation of the arrival of the tree. My very favorite part about Christmas is the tree (even though I hate actually buying one and schlepping it home, unless we're going to go cut one and then it is fun). I was looking at some of the ornaments last night, being nostalgic, and noticed how truly each ornament has a long story or history attached. I still have my first Christmas ornament, a wooden Christmas soldier. There are the funny clay ornaments that my mother bought at craft fairs in the '80s that have my name painted on them. There are the collection of now at least 20 spun-glass ornaments that my grandmother has purchased over the years. And even though she has 30+ grandchildren, we still look forward to getting the gift of yet another ornament each year. I actually sat there with tears thinking about "the good 'ole days." What a sap I am!! I am hoping to find time this weekend (maybe there's time???) to put the tree up and maybe even the lights. Monday night will be a cookie baking, tree decorating, Christmas music kind of evening....I can't wait. See, I pretend that I am not really into the whole "Holiday Thing," but once I get going....it is so much fun!

Back to work.
Good to be home.

Another List

6:30am: Waiting for it to be time to walk to the bus stop. My sister is snoring in the other room

I am gulping down coffee and waiting impatiently for it to be 6:50.

So, to amuse myself, I'll do another one of those listy things:

Seven things I want to do before I die:
-Finish my degree
-Ride in a fighter jet (or get my own pilot's license)
-Learn to speak Spanish Fluently
-Work for, or become the President of the USA
-Have more kids
-Spend time in another country
-See my children as happy adults

Seven things I can do:
-Make people beleive that anything is possible
-Swear like a sailor
-Cook almost anything
-Hang with the boys
-Think critically when necessary
-Make people laugh
-Laugh at myself

Seven things I cannot do:
-Math
-Chemistry
-Sew or any other "crafty" type things
-Excuse people for bad behavior with ease
-Sit by and watch the world fall to hell
-Manage everything about my life without help
-Afford to ever start smoking again

Seven things I say a lot:
-Pick up your toys! (or clothes, or dishes, or anything else.)
-You girls amaze me.
-Shit.
-Fuck.
-"I thought I had more money in my account?"
-I want to get on an airplane and disappear.
-"I can't beleive he fumbled...!!That idiot! or any other "football talk."

Seven things I find attractive in the opposite sex:
A Great Sense of Humor
Smile! Eyes!
Sense of adventure
Willingness to play
Stability
Honesty and Loyalty
Love of Family and Friends

Seven celebrity crushes:
-Nick Cage
-Johnny Depp (after watching Neverland last night)
-Kate Wislet (same reason)
-Brett Farve
-Ewan McGreggor
-Naomi Watts
-Bill Clinton

I am gulping down coffee and waiting impatiently for it to be 6:50.

So, to amuse myself, I'll do another one of those listy things:

Dinner A La Roche Harbor.

Another shot from my September Birthday Party.

Me, Karlyn and Mom.

We had a ridicoulously expensive dinner with a ridiculously expensive bottle of wine.

It was fabulous. The food. The view. The fun!

Sunday Plans

I'm on my way home tomorrow morning. Taking the bus downtown, switching onto a new connection. Then heading to the airport.

Unfortunately I will spend the entire day on an airplane. Sadly I will miss the two early football games. The Colts are playing Jacksonville--which should be a good game. Hopefully I'll catch a few moments on my layover. And, I am happy that the Packers are playing the night game. Against the Lions. I think we have a win coming on.

Today I went to REI with my sister. It was a hundred stories tall and I could have spent $5000 in 15 minutes. I stood drooling in front of the kayaks. Regretting the moment that I decided that I shouldn't purchase one. (It was in fact the practical decision, but not the fun one). I oogled skiis and fancy sleds and beautiful outerwear. I have never felt such a desire to consume in my life. I wanted it ALL. A new tent, a new outdoor grill, new snowshoes, new and shiny and expensive...but promising a whole world of outdoor excitment. It was a moment that I was greatful that I do not have a credit card. No ability to indulge in fiscal irresponsibility. Just the ability to imagine....

I met more of my sister's friends this evening. I feel great knowing that she is surrounded by people that love her and will care for her, entertain her and cart her around next week. It was great to be able to thank them for what they do and for the ease that they put my mind at. I realize I am sounding very "motherly" but I am the older sister and there is little that I can do once I board that plae for Wisconsin. I trust she will do just fine.

Now, to watch Finding Neverland. Then to bed. And then home.
More from the firgid Midwest.

And: thxs MC for shoveling. You rock.

Random List-Killing Time.

My sister has been asleep for two hours. I am playing and enjoying internet access and watching the boats stream on by. To kill time, let me entertain you with a list, stolen off another blog, and made my very own. You may decide that you now know more about me that you've ever wanted to know.

Firsts:
First best friend: Amanda Baker
First screen name: something from my St. Norbert days that I can no longer remember
First self purchased album: I bought 8 cassets for a penny with Columbia House. They included INXS and Janet Jackson.
First pet: We had rabbitts and an aquarium. I think my rabbit's name was Fluffy. Original, huh?
First true love: ?Not sure. First real crush was on Chris Jahnke in 5th grade. Was it love? Probably not.
First enemy: Molly.Morter. She and I had the same leather jacket in 8th grade and she stormed up to me and told me that I had no right to wear it. She also beat me in a student council race because she was more popular than me. And she had a Jeep Wrangler in High School. I hated her and secretly wanted to be her all at once.
First musician you remember hearing in your house: John Denver. My parents would sing, "Sunshine on My Shoulders" to get me to go to sleep. Also the counrty favorites, Alabama, The Oakridge Boys, and one of my personal favorites, Kenny Rogers (in first grade I would sneak a tape recorder with The Gambler out at recess and tell all my friends that I was going to marry Kenny).

LASTS
Last car ride: borrowed a car from my sister's friend, Jesse, this morning and drove it home from the University Campus. Before that it was days since I have been in a car.
Last library book checked out: I have no idea. Something for the girls.
Last movie seen: In the theatre: The John Cusak/Bill Bob Thorton movie that I can't recall the name of (Ice something?). And two nights ago we watched the DVD mockumentary "A Mighty Wind."
Last beverage drank: currently drinking coffee. Had a lovely bottle of Alaskan beer last night.
Last food consumed: a bowl of granola-almond cereal to which I added dried cranberries.
Last phone call: that connected? Talked to my mom this morning. Message: my boss.
Last time showerered: yesterday morning.
Last item bought: funny 2006 sparkly glasses in NYC for my girls to wear on New Year's Eve.
Last annoyance: Can't figure out how to get a photo uploaded into my blogger profile
Last disappointment: My father's idiodic behavior--he preferred to deal with me via email than on the phone. I'll survive though. :)
Last website visited: Jenica's blog.
Last word you said: "Wow, you slept over two hours" (to sister who just awoke from long slumber)
Last song you sang: "Yellow Submarine"
Whats under your bed: the floor. (There is no frame.)
What time did you wake up today: 8:30am West Coast Time

FUTURE
Who are you planning on marrying: A nice man who is funny, smart, and likes to play outside.
What will you name your kids: If I ever have more kids I hope I have at least one boy. What would I name this imaginary kid? Charlie? I have no strong feelings in this department. Nothing 'new agey' though. I hate names like Dakota and Madison...
Where are you going to live: I would like to live in a nice house that has some big trees that is near a medium-sized city. I need to move out of Milwaukee so my kids can get into a decent school system.
How many kids do you want: If I get married and IF my future husband agrees to have more children I would love at least two more. By the time I would actually have these imaginary children Grace and Margaret would be old and I couldn't imagine having only one more kid to be raised essentially as an only child.
What kind of car: No clue. Something with manual transmission. I miss that desperately with the Camry.

CURRENTS
Current mood: rested and calm
Current hair: ponytail and a red baseball hat
Current desktop picture: Mike at a softball game. Best smile ever.
Current color of toenails: left over red from the summer--and my big toe nail has a sexy blue bruise from my recent running habit. I've been told that it will fall off soon.
Current hate: (more like ongoing hate) people who don't think beyond their own lives.

RANDOM
My name is: Kristen Kay Rogers
I feel: mostly happy
In the morning I: just try to get through it with as much coffee as I can handle
I like to sleep: without being interrupted
If I could be doing anything right now I: am really happy right where I am.
Money is: something that I manage poorly and need more discipline with. Also money is something that I need to raise in order for my work to expand.
One thing I wish I had is: nothing comes to mind at the moment. I can think of things that I have but do not need.
All I need is: loyalty-love-laughter-fooball and jeans.
Something I need but I don’t really want is: another dentist appointment
I am afraid of: being alone for the rest of my life; public failure; disappointing those who trust me.

RANDOM PART II
What color would your soul be: green
Why do they lock gas station bathrooms: So they can laugh at you as you run in and have to ask for the key doing the "I have to pee really bad dance."
Can you resist things easily: depends on the motivation
Do you think red meat is bad for you: nope.
What do you think of life: It is fragile and must be lived to the fullest.
Do you have a significant other: yup!
Do you have a crush: on my significant other!
Are you happy with the gender you were born with: yes
Are you even-tempered: I am not. And I won't even pretend that I am.
When did you learn to whistle: I was small. 6?
Is the glass half empty or half full: I am working on seeing it half-full, but I have historically been a half-empty kind of person.
If you found out the life you’re living is all a dream: It would definitely explain a lot!!
You shrunk a foot shorter in the night: I would still be almost 5', not bad for a short person. And I think it would be interesting to shop in the petite section for once in my life.
You grew a foot taller in the night: I would play professional sports.
You had to save the world: I HAVE to save the world. I'm working on it!

WHATS THE PROBLEM WITH:
People: greed
Life: greedy people
Your country: greedy people and capitalism

DOES:
The world suck: no, the world has so much potential
Britney Spears turn you on: no, she freaks me out.
Life on other planets exist: I want to beleive.
The world revolve around you: on my best days it does.

DO YOU AGREE THAT:
A picture is worth a thousand words: A great picture can leave you speechless.
A penny saved is a penny earned: I've yet to really understand this whole notion of "saving."
Only the good die young: I've seen this to be true more than once.
Abortion is wrong: no and yes. I have a variety of opinions. And I have an almost ten year old named Grace. I think that speaks for itself. The name Grace was an intentional choice. And she lives up to the name 100%.

DO YOU:
Take life seriously: Too seriously I think. I'm working on being more "fun."
Suffer from identity crisis: I think I know myself fairly well, including my faults
Do drugs: nope
Know anyone psychic: If I do they haven't come forward
Lie a lot: nope
Believe you know the person who you will marry: hopefully
Like yourself: Most of the time I think I am great--but I do get pissed at myself and my bad habits.
Talk in your sleep: I snore. Loudly. Like "Darth Vadar with Asthma."

ARE YOU
Paranoid: Sometimes--at least when talking politics.
Indifferent: Never. I always have an opionon and usually it is STRONG. Unless you ask me where I want to eat dinner. Then I struggle.
Beautiful: Somedays I feel pretty. Most days I feel average.
Lonely: Since moving back to Milwaukee I have felt less lonely than ever before. These days I definitely feel in the company of others: friends, family, loved ones, and new people.
Cool: Ah no. I am a dork, a geek, a nerd. I embrace that.
Reliable: I like to think so, but I am not a great communicator with people that live far away. I would like to make progress in this department.
Outgoing: YES! YES! YES! I am one of "those people" who talks a lot and feeds on the energy of others.
Shy: only when I feel inferior in some way, then I hold back.
Romantic: Secretly I am a huge softy.
Sensitive: Overly at times.
Stubborn: To a fault.

RANDOM PART III
Eye color: mostly blue with an amber ring around the pupils (I got them from my father).
Hair color: blonde. dyed blonde.
height:5’10"
Do you have glasses: no, but that doesn't mean I couldn't use them
Have any pets: At the moment no, Batman is on hiatus again. He may return. He may not.
A day without sunshine is: a great day to stay in bed and read.
If at first you don’t succeed: you're probably normal. ask for help.
You know you should wake up when: Grace is on her scooter in the snow and it is 6:45 in the morning.
Honk: before you start swearing.
If you keep your feet firmly on the ground: you shouldn't trip often.
McDonalds or Burger King: McDonalds--meal #3 with a diet coke.
Love or Lust: "All I need is love."
Paper or Plastic: Paper. Although I am told each is offensive. I should carry canvas bags but I am too lazy.

The End.

I stole this from Jenica's blog.

"A time comes when silence is betrayal. … Some of us who have already begun to break the silence of the night have found that the calling to speak is often a vocation of agony, but we must speak. We must speak with all the humility that is appropriate to our limited vision, but we must speak." [Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.]

Many of you know that Dr. MLK Jr. is a hero of mine. I have annual pilgrimages to the South. I fell in love with Birmingham and Selma. I have a viceral need to connect my work to the Civil Rights Movement. And I am constantly inspired by the real people that stepped out for the movement-for equality-for a better America. I saw this awhile ago on Jenica's blog (www.jenica26.squarespace.com). I can't figure out how to add links yet. I will-just maybe not today. Jenica's blog is inspirational. Perhaps the best out there. Read it. I guarantee that you'll be inspired. (Sending xoxoxjpr)

Wake Up Seattle...

It is Saturday morning and I just returned from the University Campus. It is about 9:30am-so I was able to peek into the morning rituals of the locals.

First, I noticed how many undergrads were running to class (Saturday morning? Running? To Class?). It didn't translate to me at all. Until I was informed that they have exams this morning. Ok, now I get why all the blonde girls were looking so uncool this morning. For once they have bigger concerns than wardrobe and makeup.

Second, I noticed the level of active people...there have been at least 25 kayakers sail by the bay window. Some are gliding with an impressive speed, clearly attempting a morning workout. Others meander at a gentle pace obviously waking themselves with the fresh morning air.

I also observed the frenzy at the coffee shops. I have always assumed that the whole "legend of the Seattle coffee" was over stated. But no. There is literally a Starbucks every three blocks, 90% of the people that were walking had their cup o'joe in hand. I predict that by lunch time the city will be humming with a cafiene buzz, no doubt it will be audible to the foreigners. I am sure to the local it is just white noise.

Today we have access to a car. I am planning on taking my sister to run some final errunds before I depart tomorrow. We'll do a bit of her Christmas shopping and get any loose ends tied up neatly. I plan on just driving to see a bit of the city. No real desire to do much exploring at this point. Future trips are being planned and the city isn't going anywhere. It was great to just escape to a place where work and children seem far away.

But now that I seem rested and my sister seems just fine I will be ready to board the plane home tomorrow. Not yet ready for the drop in temperature. But ready to be near the people that I miss.

Ready to go home.

I left home on November 30 for St. Louis.
I spent four days in St. Louis.
I then went to New York City.
I spent three days in New York City.
I then flew to Seattle.
I will be in Seattle until Sunday.
And the I will be home.
That will be fabulous.
I miss my kids.
I miss my red couch.
I miss having all of my clothes available to me.
I miss playing football on Saturday mornings.
I miss my community Monday night dinners.
I miss home.

Big Sister--Little Sister

Me and Karlyn. We were on a whale watching expedition and actually saw TONS of orca (think Shamu) whales. There were several whales who even dared to come near the boat and we were completly and utterly in awe of these amazing animals playing in the water, trying to impress the humans. It was super.

This is on San Juan Island.
I want to go back....

Values Discussion Part I.

I am a faith-based political organizer. Rarely do people actually know what that means or what I do,and it usually takes me some time to explain it to them. Usually they are still confused.

One thing that I am working on now -- and that is of tremendous importance to me is the "values and morals" debate that is going on in the public arena. It seems as if the Right has taken the word values and made it their own. And they win. Their values seem to be clear: government is bad, individualism rules the day, and the free market is the best way to make financial decisions. I tend to shudder at the implications of their value set. But I am outraged and frustrated that my values are not being defended by anyone. The Left is on the defensive and lacks courage and clarity to do anything but sit with their thumb up their ass. I am as progressive and liberal as they come...but where is the leadership and the vision offered to counter everything the Right flaunts in our face?

My job lately has been to think and engage others in a deep discussion about the values that we hold as people of faith, or simply as participants in the world and society. I come from this from my faith perspective that we are all created equal and that the golden rule is the most supreme law of the land. I know secular people who share the same guiding principles.

My questions for those of you out there who might care enough to respond are these...

"Where do you see hope in the world? And where do you see a violation of your values?"

Post your responses...a compelling discussion could be underway. I have other questions. I want honesty. I want stories. I want to hear what you think about the way our society is headed.

I'll give some of my answers in a future post....

This was one of many gorgeous sunsets that we saw while visiting the coast in September. This specific sunset was viewed from a kayak. I will come back!!!

Me on a Rock.

This photo was taken in September. I was visiting the West Coast and we were staying on the most awesome island (San Juan). My mother took me to visit my sister for my 30th b-day. It was great...and being here in Seattle reminded me that all my trip pics are in my sis's laptop. So, I am going to add them to my new blog. Cool.

Seattle, Washington

I am writing this from my sister, Karlyn's living room couch. The couch is positioned in front of a large bay window that is overlooking the Sound. The yachts decorate the harbor with color and today the air is crisp and the sun bright. It is December and 50 and sunny. Life here is wonderful.

I am here in care-giver mode. Karlyn tore her ACL playing flag football and just had surgery to repair the damage. She is currently passed out opposite me in a drug induced nap. Gulping down percocete and oxycointin in one dose tends to knock her on her ass. It is preferable that she medicate and sleep. It is my job to ensure that she follows orders, has someone to talk with, and someone to cook meals, schlep her tea and help her take showers. I also love that it is peaceful and quiet here. I see the water. I do some work. I play on the interenet.

I have made space for thinking. I have made some space for resting. And I feel wonderful.

I heard that it is cold in Milwaukee. I know that it has snowed since I was home last. I know that my driveway will need attention upon my midwest arrival. But today I don't care.

I have the picture window. And my sister. And plenty of Seattle's best dark roast.

And So It Goes..

I have had some expereince with this whole blogger thing. I have created at least five blogs in the past. So, why another blog you ask? Well, because I miss the format of writing and commenting and connecting with the rest of the world. I miss documenting my quirky thoughts, my political rants, and the story of my life.

So here I go again.

(She smiles and takes another drink of Early Grey.)

I've missed this so very much....

Kristen