I'm going to be a criminal.

Today at 1pm CST I have a court appearance to (I think) enter a plea in a criminal charge. I am being charged by the state of Wisconsin (your tax dollars at work) for filing a false campaing finance report under $100. It is a class U Misdemenor and the maximum penalty that I can get it $1,000 fine and /or up to 6 months in jail. Which I am assuming won't happen, but putting me in jail would definitely not be a cool thing at all.

So, am I guilty? I guess I am. I did file an incorrect campaign report; it wasn't my intent to be deciectful or break the law. Let me also say that these errurs were made in relation to a campaing for school board that I lost in 2001. So, not exactly recent. I made errors and I guess that now makes me a criminal. I have to admit that I am a tad nervous about this afternoon. I have to go before a judge and plead "no contest" and then who knows? Will they set bail for my release? Will they fingerprint me take a mug shot (I'm wearing a lovely suit and good jewelry)? I really don't know what to expect. I just want to get on with it and figure out what my punishment is.

So, I will keep everyone posted.

On another, happier note, Mike and I are looking at yet another house tonight. We have been stalking it for several weeks and really like it. It is very similar to the last house that we just let the offer expire on, it is another 5 bedoroom house. This one is brick and white aluminum, it has a lovely open kitchen/dining room/with sunken family room. It also has a finished basement and master suite with vaulted ceilings, walk-in closets and a private bathroom. The price is significantly lower than the last house and the yard is ten times nicer. We'll see. I am betting that we make another contingent offer--but who knows, maybe we'll just try and wait to see if we can sell one of our houses.

As for weekend plans I am looking forward to my first fantasty football draft on Friday night. Saturday we have football practice-Sunday we may golf and Monday is family b-day lunch at Mike's parents. We may try and sneak in a night with Dennis Miller who is coming on Saturday, but we haven't purchased tickets yet, so who knows.

Hopefully I won't be in jail this weekend! :-)
I'm kidding, I really can't imagine that I would go to jail-legislators who had multiple felonies with elction fraud didn't go to jail. Why would thy want me?

Back to work. Happy Labor Day weekend everyone.

On

I'm in love

Have you heard Snow Patrol's "Chasing Cars" yet? It may be the most awesome love song ever. I'm quite addicted to it...

Cigarettes and Beer...

Two Stella Artolis beers and two cigarettes (I am publically admitting this) later and I feel much, much better.

This has been a killer week. And I have to admit that I am emotionally drained and ready to become a hermit and hide out from the world.

My brother, my younger,baby brother is facing a total life change. Without getting into all the details, he got into some major trouble, was arrested after a violent outburst where he threatened to end his life, and then held at the Milwaukee County Psychiatric Center until he could be released into family custody. He is facing diagnosis of being bipolar, and potentially other mental illness. This isn't completly out of the blue...my father's family all struggles with varied degrees of mental illness and differnt dianosis. I sometimes have mental breakdowns and become over sensitive and borderline paranoid. But to have this happen to my little brother, to watch him struggle with alomst identical issues that I watched my father struggle with has been exhausting. He trusts me and I have an unconditional love for him that is exactly what is appropriate. There is nothing that he could do that could/would change my love for him. And all I want is to be loving and supporting.

My mother has been on an Alaskan cruise for two weeks and Karlyn live in Seattle. The Bonk side of the family hasn't lived through the same history that I have. Hasn't seen their father kill himself. Hasn't worried that mental illness would rear its ugly head for their entire life. I have. And frankly, having to live through this, twent-one years later with my brother has been profoundly difficult. Too much even. So much that as I drove to work this morning watching the lake front I just sobbed; I haven't slept well in a week and all I wish is that he didn't have to be stuck facing this. That I wish I could do my job as the older sister better and protect him. But I can't protect him from a family history that is decades in the making.

To compound matters (for MY mental sanity anyway) there is a woman that is in Mike's circle of friends; it is no secret that she dislikes me and no secret that she acts inapporpriate with Mike, overly friendly and as a married woman, she crosses the line. I play volleyball with her. I lost it last night and ended up bawling and being an asshole. Not what I want, really. But today, after months of objecting to her behavior, I sent her an email that was blunt and stratightforward. I am sure that there will be consequences, but oh well. I am beyond acting like we are in high school. It felt good to say what I have wanted to say in a long time; there is something important about speaking one's mind instead of supressing or second guessing yourself.

And, on a vright note, there is my friend Stephanie. She is someone that I met through my work life and has become a friend and total joy to hang out with. After our board meeting today we had luch together, and by coincidence ended up meeting some teachers, one that I knew, three that I didn't. We st outside at neighborhoo bar/restaurant. I had beer and a hot dog. And bummed two cigarettes (I'll regret it tomorrow, but they were wonderful in the moment).

There are great things about life. Not all the time. Sometimes people suffer, sometimes people are mean. But life and love are good. Thank you to my Mike who is amazing, and thank you that Kennan is alive this week.

I think that I will sleep well tonight.
And I will run on treadmill in the morning, instead of running away.
It is good to face reality, even if reality is painful.

Good PR.

(Mike's favorite picture from yesterday).

Dings' Dock

(Grace, Margo, Andy and Nick with me in back)














Yesterday Mike and I braves canoeing the Crystal River with four children ages 7, 7, 10 and 11.
The water was exceptionally low due to lack of rain and excessive heat this summer so that presented challenges. We paired off, I canoed with Andy (7 years old), Mike canoed with Margo (also 7) and Grace and Nick (10 and 11) canoed together. Click here for Ding's Dock website!

The trip started with water so shallow that we literally had to walk the canoe in spots because we were grounded just sitting there. The river winds along through beautiful trees, bridges, tunnels, and rapids. It is something that small children can do, but also has enough obstacles that make it challenging for adults. Everyone tips there canoe at least once, especially on the rapids. Our canoe became lodged on rocks many times, requiring me to get out and banged up on the rocks. Grace had a bloody knee, Margaret and Mike submerged and became stuck in rapids and were there for about 20 minutes before the next group came along and helped them. Andy and I did fairly well, but did sink once when we hit a fallen tree and tried to maneuver around it.

The trip itself lasted 4 hours and we have no idea how far we actually went. Several weekends ago when Mke and I kayaked we did over 10 miles in 3 hours...BUT, we have a feeling we maybe went 4 or 5.

This morning it is 9:15 and Grace is still in bed (unheard of, she's wiped). I have bruises all over my body, and Margaret is flopped out on the couch. The river got the best of us, but boy was it fun. Our only regret was that we didn't (and couldn't) take a camera down river with us. Those shot would have been hilarious!